Chapter 40: I Wish to Share My Heart with You
The old man waived Song You's tea bill and also gave him a hundred wen as a fee for delivering the letter. He promised that his son would give another two hundred wen upon receipt.
He would be able to earn a total of three hundred wen.
Usually, payment for delivering a letter was divided into two parts like this. The letter itself was rolled up and placed inside a small bamboo tube, which Song You casually stuck into his bedding bag. He had already told the old man that he would be walking slowly and taking his time to enjoy the scenery so he mustn’t complain if the delivery was delayed.
Then Song You led his horse and set off again.
Looking back, he saw the old man bowing and asking a group of jianghu people again, seemingly still having letters to be delivered. This was quite normal. In this era, asking someone to deliver a letter inevitably meant more than one copy. If it was an important letter, delivering multiple copies was normal in case the letter was not delivered or arrived late.
“Xuzhou, Long Commandery, North Lingbo County, Ganzao Alley, Chen Han...” Song You muttered to himself.
He didn't really need to remember it as it was already written on the bamboo tube. The address seemed easy enough to find.
However, Xuzhou was still several hundred li away. According to the old man, Lingbo County in Long Commandery was quite remote within Xuzhou, with difficult roads. No wonder so many traveling merchants and jianghu people refused to go there or to accept the task.
Fortunately, this Chen Han at least lived within the county town.
There were no maps or navigation systems in this era. If the delivery address is rather remote, from a prefecture to a commandery, and then to a county, the delivery person might find it difficult to distinguish directions even upon reaching the county. They would need to patiently ask for directions, and then navigate the complicated small roads. Along the way, it would be hard to say how much effort and time would be spent, and how many wrong turns would be taken.
This was why even a thin letter to a family member was worth a fortune.
Thinking it over, that day was already the fifth day of the new year. Based on past years, the Daoist priests from Fuqing Temple were probably already on their way to Hidden Dragon Temple. If they had left early, his master might have already seen his letter.
He wondered what she would think upon reading it. That old lady Daoist priest was lazy and fond of sleeping. With him gone, she would probably have gone hungry quite often.
“Daoist priest, what are you thinking about?” The calico cat, who had run ahead, stopped and looked back at him.
Song You smiled and slowly caught up. The jujube-red horse continued to follow him silently.
Thus, he continued to cross mountains and rivers, traveling when the sun rose and stopping at dusk. Occasionally, he traveled at double speed by night if he felt like it. If he got lazy, he found a comfortable spot to take an afternoon nap in the sun.
The Daoist kept a calm heart and his steps were always steady. The horse was well-behaved, always silent and reliable.
The calico cat was lively, constantly darting back and forth around the man and horse. When passing through forests, she became human. When passing by rivers, she became a cat. When lying down together with Song You during afternoon naps, she was a cat. She became human again when riding on the horse’s back. She would laugh heartily, slap the horse and urged it to run faster. She was always transforming like this.
Days passed, perhaps seven or eight days.
The green mountain appeared dark in the distance. It had a flat ridge which met the clouds, forming a clear line dividing the green and the white. On this gently-curved mountain ridge, one could see a man and a horse slowly walking along this ridge from afar. From this angle, they looked as if they were walking in the sky, their origin and destination unknown. For a moment, it seemed as if this world contained only this man and his horse.
In reality, this wasn't an official road but a mountain peak. The official road lay further down the mountainside. Song You had whimsically decided to climb up. He couldn’t find a road at first and wasted much effort.
The calico cat didn't quite understand. She thought that the road below was fine, with trees to climb, bugs to catch, and even many bird nests in the trees. Not to mention that climbing this mountain took a lot of effort, the top was also much more barren than the mountainside. There wasn't as much fun here, and there were also many grasses taller than her, making it extremely difficult to walk.
Climbing back down would also be troublesome.
The calico cat had many questions and asked incessantly why they had to climb.
However, she was just a cat. Since she was following this Daoist priest on his travels, she had no choice but to go along.
Another day ended and it was sunset again.
The calico cat, having transformed into human form for a while, developed by herself the ability to exhale magical breath. She could exhale black smoke to obscure vision, or white smoke to induce sleep. These were common abilities among demons. However, as she always followed Song You, she mostly used her ability to exhale black smoke only when changing clothes during transformation. Thus, she once again used the black smoke to transform into human form and diligently collected a lot of firewood. The nights were cold, and they had to warm themselves by a fire.
Warming themselves by the fire was most comfortable.
Song You sat cross-legged facing west, motionless. He wasn’t meditating on the spiritual resonance of the landscape, just quietly watching the sunset.
Admiring the setting sun, and then the twilight glow, he only turned around when the sky was dark.
He saw that Lady Calico had piled up a stack of firewood behind him. His bedding bag had been placed on the withered grass on the ground. The jujube-red horse was seemingly very much at ease. It lay on the ground, chewing on the dry grass nearby while glancing at the little girl from the sides of its eyes.
The little girl squatted by the firewood pile, leaning in very closely. “Huff... huff... cough, cough! Huff...”
Song You saw that she was trying to use the fire-spitting technique he taught her, attempting to start the fire herself. However, despite all her efforts, she only produced a few wisps of gray-white smoke, sometimes even choking herself into coughing.
“You lack a bit of skill...” Song You said softly. However, he paused slightly before narrowing his eyes and adding with a smile, “But you're very close. If you try harder with your next breath, you will be sure to succeed!”
The little girl lifted her head and glanced at him, completely believing his words. Thus she set her mind to it, and took another deep breath again until her chest was puffed up.
“Huff!”
A yellow flame came out of her mouth.
However, it was just ordinary fire with no magical properties. She had aimed at the firewood, but it merely singed the firewood slightly. It was not sufficient to burn a person, let alone igniting the firewood.
“Congratulations,” Song You said to the little girl with a smile. “You are truly gifted, learning the fire-spitting technique in just a few months.”
The little girl ignored him, focusing on exhaling smoke. The gray-white smoke was interspersed with many sparks. After a while, she looked back in disappointment.
“It won't burn...”
“It's already very impressive.”
“How long did it take you to learn?”
Silence.
“Why don't you answer?”
“Since you can produce a flame, it shows you are already on the right path. With more practice and understanding in the future, it will come. Remember, each time you perform the technique, you must believe firmly in its success.”
“Then how long did it take you to learn?”
Silence.
“How long did it take you to learn?”
“Two days.” Song You answered while pointing at the firewood.
“Boom!”
The firewood immediately ignited.
The little girl sat down heavily on the ground, staring blankly at the fire in front of her, not saying a word.
Song You toasted two steamed pancakes over the fire, which were similar to mantou[1] in his previous world. However, what was called mantou here actually had fillings, similar to what his previous world commonly called baozi[2] He originally planned to roast a bit of dried meat for Lady Calico but in the end she said she didn’t plan to eat yet and didn’t want to eat dried meat either. She said there were mice on the mountain and she would go and catch mice once they came out at night.
This little cat ate better than he did…
Although it was early spring and still cold, she already had no trouble finding food. She caught bugs by the roadside, birds by day, and mice at night. All were her routine fare. If the season was right, she might even have settled Song You’s meals along the way.
After dinner, the cold deepened. Song You found a flat spot, burned it with fire, laid out the felt blanket given by Prefect Yu, and lay down covering himself with another blanket.
Lady Calico lay with her beloved horse.
Lying down and looking up, the sky was full of stars, so dense it seemed the sky couldn't contain them and they hung down to the earth along the curtain of night.
“Lady Calico, look at the sky.”
“I am looking at the sky.”
“The sky is full of stars.”
“I see them.”
“Lady Calico, did you know? Each star in the sky is a world like ours. Only some are inhabited, and some are not. Perhaps as we gaze at the stars, someone up there is raising their head and gazing in our direction.”
“Are there cats in places with people?”
“Most likely.”
“What about places without people?”
“Maybe.” Song You answered softly, feeling increasingly calm.
Lady Calico had a kind of unique perspective different from humans. Every time he talked to her, her replies or questions always felt very wonderful and relaxing to him.
Song You asked softly, “Do you think the stars are beautiful?”
“Beautiful.”
“There are many trees further down the mountain. You won’t be able to see them from there.”
“Here you can.”
“That's why we climbed up here.”
“Yes.” Lady Calico gazed up, entranced by the stars. She felt the stars were really beautiful, sparkling and bright. She couldn't resist wanting to reach out and grab them.
And she really did extend her hand, waving and beckoning in the air in front of her.
If climbing up here was for seeing the stars, it seemed worthwhile despite the hard effort and not being able to climb trees to catch birds.
Just then, she heard the Daoist priest's voice again. “Lady Calico.”
“Yes?” Lady Calico seemed to sense something. She suddenly put her hand down and turned her head.
The Daoist priest inexplicably let out a long sigh. “I used to dislike this world.”
“Why?”
“For many reasons.”
“Why?”
“Because this world is primitive and backward. There are no brightly lit cities, no convenient transportation, no exciting internet, no way to stay indoors and know what’s going on in the world. You can't find culinary delicacies from most places in just one city, and the meals are mostly unpalatable. The cities smell foul during the day, filled with excrement everywhere. Most passersby's clothes are ragged and dirty. At night, if you don't have money to light candles or lamps, it's pitch dark. Even if you lit candles or lamps, the light is tiny and dim in the darkness. This world is also the same, dark and dreary. Besides the gods, ghosts, magic and natural scenery, I don't know what exciting things it has to offer.”
“It's not dark at night! You can even catch mice for fun!”
“Look, even delivering a letter is so difficult.”
“Delivering a letter has always been hard.”
“And this world is strange and ignorant. When I first arrived, I knew no one. People are ignorant, even the thinking of scholars and wise men is constrained by the times. The vast majority of people either enjoy trampling on others or are accustomed to being trampled on, or both. Many times, I actually don't want to talk to them at all.”
Song You lay gazing at the stars, yet his expression did not appear arrogant but calm as always.
Lady Calico said honestly this time, “I don't understand.”
Song You just smiled when he heard. That was precisely why he had told her.
At some point, Lady Calico had turned back into a cat. She crawled over from Song You's side, and climbed over his body, her steps making his upper body itch. Then she ran to the other side and touched his face with her little paws.
The paws were ice-cold and felt muddy and sandy.
“Daoist priest, you're unhappy.”
“Not really.”
“Then what is it?”
“I just have some feelings.”
“Then tell me…”
“Hmm?”
“Do the stars find us beautiful too?”
“Maybe.”
Lady Calico was healing him.
His eyes couldn’t take in the sky full of stars. The fire by his side continued to burn and crackle. The jujube-red horse was lying down and chewing grass nearby. The chewing sound was unexpectedly very soothing.
The sound of the wind and whispers calmed his heart.
His master had said before that his mild and calm appearance hid a deep arrogance towards the entire world. Actually, it was unavoidable. Song You never denied it and tried hard to restrain himself. However, that was in the past. After coming to this world and as time passed, he also gradually figured things out.
Since it is already destined to be difficult for him to return in this life, he tried hard to integrate into this place, trying hard to open up his heart to accept this world. He tried hard to broaden his vision to see and experience this world’s unique beauty.
If he didn’t know what exciting things it had to offer, then he would go find them. If he couldn’t think of anything beautiful about it, then he would go and see.
Descending the mountain to travel the world in this manner, crossing countless mountains and rivers, experiencing the affairs of the world and human relationships…There was no other reason, he only hoped that this life could be more exciting and more interesting, in order not to waste this life.
Fortunately, he had just begun his journey, but he had already gained a lot.
1. Chinese steamed bun. A white and soft type of steamed bun popular in northern China that has no fillings. ☜
2. Steamed stuffed buns. ☜
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