Chapter 6: Debut Team Audition (4)
The judges’ gazes were sharply piercing through me. With every step I took, their scrutinizing glances seemed to cling on, making me feel like I was treading a thorny path.
“He has a good visual.”
“His vocals and dance are decent too. Why else would we have kept him for ten years if he wasn’t going to debut? Overall, he is a well-balanced trainee.”
Their voices echoed with blatant judgment. No matter how embarrassing it was, the only thing a powerless trainee could do was pretend not to hear and walk to their designated spot. It was a scene that, no matter how often I revisited it, would always feel foreign.
“Introduce yourselves, then we will start the audition."
Along with the supervisor's words, the light on the camera next to the table lit up. In unison, we all bowed at a perfect ninety-degree angle.
"Hello!"
It was a stiff greeting reminiscent of military trainees. However, there was no response to our greeting.
'Couldn't they at least lighten up the atmosphere?'
Even the month-end evaluations, which were typically harsh, weren't this intense. I subtly glanced at CEO Shim, who sat in the middle of the judges and seemed quite interested in us. He probably was the reason for this tense atmosphere. He ideally should not have been here.
‘Is it just me, or did CEO Shim seem to be grinning at us, especially me, in a very malicious manner?’
"Everyone has good visuals. Park Yoon-Chan? Should we start with him?"
CEO Shim spoke.
In response to his words, Park Yoon-Chan, who was visibly nervous, took a step forward.
"Hmm, don’t you want to be an idol? …Hye-Ri, how does he appear on camera?"
"He looks a bit chubby. Yoon-Chan, you won't debut unless you lose weight. Why aren't you managing your weight when you're the best looking?"
"Uh, well..."
“Ugh."
Hearing the manager's deep sigh, Park Yoon-Chan instantly clamped his mouth shut. I had seen this scene before, but revisiting it still felt gut-wrenching.
Park Yoon-Chan had held a sub position alongside me. If it weren't for his handsome looks, he might have been dropped right then and there after this audition.
Park Yoon-Chan's evaluation began. Despite his display of both his vocal and dance skills, the judges remained indifferent.
"Average, without anything particularly notable."
"Exactly. There is nothing special about him."
From my viewpoint, I couldn’t help but notice that Park Yoon-Chan's ears were turning a vivid shade of red. The evaluative comments were particularly ruthless, to the point that I thought Park Yoon-Chan would cry.
"Yoon-Chan, can you lose ten kilograms in a month if you get into a debut team?"
"Yes...? Yes! Of course, I will starve if I have to!"
“Hmm, alright. You've done well for now."
Park Yoon-Chan ended his audition without any definitive feedback, and I awkwardly comforted the dejected Yoon-Chan when he returned.
"It's okay."
“…Thanks, but I think I might not make it."
Park Yoon-Chan refrained from saying more and returned to his seat.
"Next, Lee Jin-Sung."
Upon the supervisor's call, Lee Jin-Sung stepped forward, causing the judges to instantly light up.
"Is this Jin-Sung the one who has been dancing since he was five?"
"Yes, he was already famous in the provinces before joining our company. He has individual fans and has appeared on broadcasts."
"I like his vibe."
Who could reject Jin-Sung after witnessing his dance? It was apparent from the judges' expressions that Jin-Sung's acceptance was a given.
"Since you are known for your dancing, let's see your dance first."
“Okay!"
Seeing the friendlier demeanor of the judges, Jin-Sung's stiff shoulders started to relax. As expected, Jin-Sung perfectly displayed his dance skills and smoothly finished his vocal assessment. He had evidently taken my advice to heart, as he performed significantly better than in previous auditions.
"He is okay in singing."
The judges' evaluations were warm. There was no need to criticize Jin-Sung, who was already a shoo-in.
"Thank you."
Jin-Sung had a gleaming expression upon returning, and he even spared a moment to thank me. I gave a slight smile in return and refocused on the audition.
The trainees following Jin-Sung weren't bad either, but the interest of the judges seemed to wane. Jin-Sung was the definite pass, and Park Yoon-Chan was a potential candidate with decent skills and looks. It appeared that they didn't expect to discover more than two notable talents from the same group.
Once the other trainees' evaluations ended, Supervisor Kim's gaze finally settled on me.
‘Finally.’
"Next, Suh Hyun-Woo."
I took a deep breath. Their somewhat indifferent eyes hazily stared at me. Given that I had been a trainee for a decade, most of them had seen me at least once in the monthly evaluations. Thus, their expressions revealed little expectation from me—except for one person, CEO Shim, who continued to look at me with interest.
“This is Suh Hyun-Woo. He is the trainee with the longest tenure here. Good visuals and as mentioned earlier, an all-rounder.”
“But why has he not made his debut yet? With such an extensive training period, you’d expect him to have debuted by now.”
"Well, he has always been a candidate, but putting him in the debut group was a bit of a risk. It would be problematic if he dropped out midway. There are many others who are more passionate and put in more effort than Suh Hyun-Woo."
"Frankly, he always comes with similar songs, so it's hard to gauge his true skill."
I felt a pang in my heart hearing their direct feedback. These words, no matter how often I heard them, always hit deep. The only added value I had was being a long-term trainee at YMM. Looking back, my desire to join the debut group might have been due to my decent skills and the notion that after training for so long, I deserved to debut.
The judges, who had been rifling through documents while evaluating me, turned their eyes back to me. I slightly lowered my head to say hi.
“I'm Suh Hyun-Woo."
Their questions sounded apprehensive.
“Did you prepare only one song?"
"Are you going to do both vocals and dance at once? You changed your song selection. Why?"
I gave them an awkward smile.
“I thought this song would showcase my skills better."
“Oh, really? Using Allure's song? Even though it's challenging, it doesn't seem like the best choice to showcase your skills."
"Did you think we'd be lenient since it's YMM's flagship artist's song?"
One prickly question after another came my way, and I responded with a forced grin.
"My only strength might be stability... I hope you'll give it a chance."
"...Alright, let's hear it then. Hye-Ri."
"Yes, playing the song now."
The music that I had heard countless times filled the audition room, and I switched my stance. As the song started, the tension eased significantly.
'You got this, Hyun-Woo.'
It was a song that I had practiced hundreds of times, so my body moved in sync with the music almost instinctively. I danced and sang as if I were having a live performance.
"He seems... passionate?"
"True... And he has improved significantly. I don't remember him having this kind of dynamism before."
As the song progressed, the indifferent expressions of the judges started to show interest. Things were going well, and I smiled faintly. Now, it was time to show them my secret weapon.
I subtly changed my movements in the middle.
A moment later.
"...What is Hyun-Woo doing...?"
I heard Jin-Sung's voice. Not only Jin-Sung but also the judges, starting from the dance trainer, started to murmur from the chorus, specifically in the section where each member of Allure had distinct dance moves.
"Is Suh Hyun-Woo..."
The judges’ eyes held an intimidating intensity as they gazed at me. I couldn’t help but wonder what they were thinking about me. Were they thinking I was arrogant? Or were they just surprised by this different side of me?
However, one thing was clear.
"He is good, isn't he? Good dance and stable vocals despite the intense choreography. He must have practiced a lot."
CEO Shim was definitely impressed. He drew a big circle on the document with a satisfied smile.
By the time the second chorus came around, the judges had mixed reactions. Now, I was sure.
'They all caught onto my intention.'
"Who said Suh Hyun-Woo lacks ambition?"
"He’s not lacking ambition... instead, he is overtly showcasing his desire. He is clearly signaling that he wants to be the center."
Exactly. I had been showcasing dance moves specific to the center part of every member of Allure. My manager, who always urged me to show more passion, couldn't hide his astonishment as he witnessed me blatantly signaling my desire for the center position. CEO Shim and Supervisor Kim were both within my line of sight.
"Going all out because it's his last chance..."
With a subtle smile toward my manager, I neatly wrapped up the final move. The stage that I had prepared for days finally came to an end. I then took a ragged breath and looked at my manager. Seeing the expression on his face as he sneaked a peek at CEO Shim's documents, I was certain that my intentions had been clearly conveyed.
***
The audition was over, and the trainees were divided in their feelings. Some felt confident, while others were quite pessimistic even before the results were disclosed. Joo-Han, Goh Yoo-Joon, and Lee Jin-Sung, feeling assured enough to pass, just calmly observed the gloomy atmosphere.
Soon after, the audition results were announced. The debut group consisted of Kang Joo-Han, Goh Yoo-Joon, Park Yoon-Chan, Lee Jin-Sung, and me. Nothing had changed from the past.
Even though we had all vowed to congratulate each other on any outcome the night before, there was no sign of celebration. Instead, a depressed and miserable atmosphere prevailed. There were no comforting jokes for the teary members, nor were there voices of mood makers trying to lift their spirits.
“...Let’s go.”
Considering the understandably somber atmosphere, I urged the nearby Jin-Sung to leave. This was no place for people who passed. Unsure of what to do, he followed me out. Once Jin-Sung and I began walking, the other three members also quietly walked out.
"Should we leave the other trainees in that state?" Jin-Sung inquired, to which Joo-Han responded with a nod.
"There's not much we can do for them now. In fact, it might be better for them if we leave quickly. Hyun-Woo made the right call."
We headed to the conference room. Though we should have felt joy for making it to the debut group, no one showed their feelings. Perhaps, everyone was struggling with a mix of joy, shock, guilt, and an array of other emotions.
"Anyway, congratulations to all of us. We did well. Good job, everyone."
After a brief moment of self-congratulation, we entered the conference room. Inside, the officials were discussing our profiles.
"Come in. Congratulations on making it into our new debut group."
Only after the trainers congratulated us did we manage to muster faint smiles.
"Are the other kids not taking it well?"
"No, they are quite upset."
"It is heartbreaking, but that doesn't mean you all should be down. You should feel proud of your achievements."
Our trainers, who had always been looking out for us, created a comforting atmosphere. Once we settled down, Supervisor Kim started outlining the next steps.
"We haven't decided on the group's name yet. We will discuss potential names with you later."
"We get to choose as well?"
"It's the name you will carry, so of course. Also, your accommodations are prepared near the office. Just pack up and move in. For any other necessities, just let the manager know."
The difference in treatment between debut members and regular trainees was stark. Our eyes widened in astonishment at the generous arrangements provided for us.
"For now, you will use Allure's practice room. After the debut, we'll provide you with a separate one."
"Allure's practice room?"
"…Wow, we get our own practice room too?"
Considering that we had been content with limited food allowance, old furniture, and a dim, outdated basement practice room, this was a pleasant surprise.
Supervisor Kim continued without reacting to our astonishment.
"We will start your album work and concept discussions later. For now, focus on practicing. Joo-Han, help the others move to their accommodations."
"Yes, sir."
With Supervisor Kim's words, the meeting was over. Despite the overwhelming situation, our team manager couldn't help but laugh at our flustered expressions.
"Why are you so nervous? The real whirlwind starts now. Anyway, go rest today. You must be exhausted."
"Thank you."
Following the manager's concluding remarks, we left the conference room and headed to our new lodgings. Upon arriving at our dorm, we hesitated at the entrance. Although we had been living in this small villa, the change in circumstances had made it difficult to simply walk in. Seeing us hesitating, our manager took the initiative and led the way.
"None of the other trainees are here now. They are in lessons. You are afraid of the awkwardness, aren't you?"
"…I know we will talk to them later, but right now, I think any words of comfort or apologies won't be well-received," Goh Yoo-Joon said. Since he was close with the other trainees, it was definitely harder for him.
"Let's not linger here. Let's go."
Joo-Han was the first to move, and we naturally followed him. We then quickly packed our belongings. Without any arguments or regrets, our hands moved faster than ever, perhaps fearing an accidental encounter with the other trainees.
"If they look at my empty room, I wonder what they will think."
Goh Yoo-Joon mumbled as he looked at his emptied bed.
'What the…'
I snatched Goh Yoo-Joon's luggage.
"They will think we packed while they were in lessons. Don't overthink it. We will talk to them tonight anyway."
They were likely upset about their own shortcomings rather than placing blame on Goh Yoo-Joon or other members. It felt a bit overwhelming.
We then left the dorm together.
"Let's go."
We had just started taking a step toward the top. Although it was cold-hearted, we could not afford to look back.
hedgethehog's ThoughtsPenguin’s thoughts: damn, they’re making poor Park Yoon-Chan lose 10kg in a month. Just for reference, assuming that he’s what the average Korean manager would consider fat (let’s say 75kg at 177cm), it’d be almost physically impossible for him to do that. Losing 10kg in a month requires a caloric deficit of ~2600 calories a day, which means that he’d have to eat nothing whatsoever or be on 3-500 calories a day and practice consistently for the entire month. Even if he saunas the shit out of his body water and gets -2kg that way, he’d be constantly fainting all over the place.
Comments
Top