Chapter 19: This Author Writes While On Drugs
I shivered as I sat down on the park’s bench. Out of habit, I pulled out a cigarette and put it into my mouth. But I had no lighter with me. Did I forget to bring it?
Whatever. I raised my middle finger.
“Convicting Middle Finger of God.”
Flicker!
From my middle finger, a lick of dark flame, the size of a fingernail, appeared! I lit the cigarette with it.
I took one long puff, enough to burn the cigarette up to its filter, and subsequently let out a huge cloud of white smoke.
“Huu.”
The cigarette was quite bitter today. Look. Now I, Yu Il-Shin, had no need for a remote control or a lighter. Such an immaculate and flawless being I was.
“Hahaha!” I laughed like a madman, tearing at my hair. “Fuck! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!”
I glared at God-Maker, grinding my teeth in anger.
“Yeah, to the Han River you go.”
This was a goodbye. Nothing good ever happened since I came across the game. Not only did I almost get killed by the ants, but I also got attacked by monsters! At the very least, with my phone at the bottom of the Han River, the army of ants hot on my heels would drown and die. I jumped out of my seat after making my decision.
Katalk katalk!
“Who is it this early in the morning?”
An average writer would’ve stayed up all night and headed to bed as soon as the day broke. Sending messages at this hour would be considered rude.
Mighty Editor-In-Charge: Mr. Yu, it’s been over a week since you last sent your manuscript. I understand you have personal reasons, but we also have commitments to our consumers. If the delay continues, it will put us in a difficult position. Additionally, you’ve received a significant advance in royalties. T.T
It was from my worst fear!
Shiver!
Before I knew it, my fingers holding the cigarette had trembled. Being cased for manuscripts by their editor-in-charge was one of a writer’s biggest fears! The intensity of this fear grew with the amount of advance royalties received from the publisher!
Calming my trembling hands, I typed a response.
Yu Il-Shin the Almighty:
>I’m sorry… I… I was going through a lot recently…
>(inserts timid bear emoticon)
>I was only discharged from the hospital a few days back… But I had the main plot figured out. I should be able to finish it soon. Please just give me a few more days and I’ll send it over...
>(inserts crying bear lying on the ground emoticon)
In my desperate attempt to look pitiful, I deliberately added a bunch of ellipses in my replies and even used the timid bear emoticons, which had recently become a huge craze.
Mighty Editor-in-Charge:
>Aigoo, of course, I know how you feel, our diligent Mr. Yu…
>(inserts rabbit wiping tears with handkerchief emoticon)
>But the company also has to earn money… If you can’t send at least half a volume's worth of manuscript by today, the CEO said he would consider terminating your contract… I have no choice… T.T
>(inserts rabbit holding a kitchen knife with flashing eyes emoticon)
Argh! It’s not working… As expected of a veteran who had been in the industry for over a decade!
Mighty Editor-in-Charge: Mr. Yu, I believe that you will send me the manuscript before I get off work today. Good luck!
“What? Hey!” I hurriedly sent another response, but it was left on read.
Arghhh! This heartless Editor-in-Charge! …Ugh, how much have I written so far?
My last manuscript was around 20,000 characters long, so I’d just have to add another 50,000 characters to make it half a volume’s length. …And that would amount to roughly 500 pages!
I have to write that much in a day? Absolutely. Impossible. What was I even supposed to write about?!
Ding!
[The Saintess and 101 followers tearfully begged not to be forsaken.]
I opened God-Maker, and saw the ants praying to me. I did feel a pang of sadness watching them, but I needed to survive first. As a matter of course, the most urgent thing on my list was finishing the manuscript.
Argh, what should I do?
“Ah!”
I recalled the last manuscript that was sent. I had clearly displayed potentials that not even myself was aware of. I reconfirmed the time of the attack from the imperial army ants.
[Duration until General Kamikiri and the imperial army reaches Yu Il-Shin: 66 hours 22 minutes 12 seconds]
Great. There’s still plenty of time for me.
I would dispose of my mobile phone—no, God-Maker after submitting my manuscript. I ran back home and opened the God’s Shop, then did a bulk purchase.
-----
[Blessing of the Growth God]
Grade: Low-tier God
Description: Contains the bodily fluids of the Eternal Seeker, shed during his training to attain the highest level of divinity.
Special note: Consuming this will allow mortals to unleash their full potential. The more they drink, the better.
“So buy more!”
-----
That hard-selling sales pitch still stood out like a sore thumb…
Pop!
I removed the lid and downed the golden liquid. Uuuggghh. Yep, it tasted like Bacchus-F, alright. Then, I looked at the open document in my laptop. Nope, still blank. Well, last time, I only found a completed manuscript after emptying six whole bottles, so I should probably do just that.
Glug glug!
I emptied five more bottles in an instant.
“Buuuurp!”
I felt bloated, but I’d gladly endure it as long as I could submit the manuscript on time. But…
“Wait, why is it so quiet?”
Nothing happened. Was I mistaken? Or did this Bacchus-F flavored potion become less effective with each use? Did I develop a resistance or immune effect?
“Fine, let’s see who wins.”
I planned to get rid of God-Maker before the imperial army ants arrived, anyway. I bought more potions without hesitation.
Ding! Ding!
[The Eternal Seeker feels pleased at the sight of the pushover.]
I ignored the offensive message.
“Huff, puff!” After emptying ten, then twenty bottles, my stomach was as bloated as a frog.
“Blergh!”
I could feel the mixture of acid reflux and Bacchus-F at my esophagus. If I moved even a little, it’d surely come out. Belated regret washed over me like a tsunami. Why was I so dumb? I should have just worked on the manuscript and ripped my hair out like a normal person.
As expected, writers shouldn’t look for shortcuts.
Ding!
[God-Maker’s assimilation rate increased significantly.]
[5%—>10%]
[Yu Il-Shin’s innate power has been boosted in accordance with the assimilation rate.]
Oh, there it is!
Ding!
[The title Benevolent Savior (E) has been activated!]
[A ‘small miracle’ is happening to Yu Il-Shin.]
A small miracle! This is it!
The same message appeared last time. And when I woke up, the manuscript was completed!
“Yes! Hurry, before the deadline…!”
Ding dong, ding dong.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Who was it? I shouldn’t have any visitors at this hour.
“Who…” I was about to head to the porch when I felt dizzy and drowsy. Even the phenomenon was similar.
Now, the manuscript will be completed again, right?
Plop!
Feeling content, I fell unconscious.
***
A girl fidgeted in front of the door of a half-burnt studio. She was the extremely electrifying high school girl, also known as Thunder Emperor, Sung Mi-Ri. In her hands was the best cake from a famous cake boutique in Gangnam, for which she had to wait in line for two hours.
Of course, she knew this cake wouldn’t be enough. That’s where the bank book came in. It contained all the money she had earned while working as a Hunter. Since she was mostly active in relief work, her payment wasn’t that high. Nevertheless, she planned to repay him by working harder in the future, even if it’d take her an entire lifetime.
Yu Il-Shin was her benefactor. She could only achieve what she was capable of today and take a chance at getting revenge because of him. On the outside, he might seem like an average joe, but he was actually quite unusual. Sung Mi-Ri had witnessed it herself.
Not only was Yu Il-Shin capable of detecting fraudulent items, he also gave her an incredible item without asking for anything in return. A hidden talent who didn’t reveal his abilities to the world.
Would he find it weird that I showed up at his house?
Thump thump!
Her heart pounded heavily as if it was about to burst. She didn’t even feel this way when facing the monsters.
“Whatever!” Sung Mi-Ri shut her eyes and pressed the doorbell.
Ding dong, ding dong!
But no one answered the door.
Is he not home?
Sung Mi-Ri thought of visiting another day when…
Creeeak—
The door opened slightly, which meant that it wasn’t locked in the first place.
“Um, is anyone in?” She carefully pushed the door open and peeked in.
Whiiing—
She was greeted by a gaping hole in the wall, through which wind was blowing. Sung Mi-Ri blushed. After all, she was the culprit behind it. Just as she thought of fixing it as soon as possible, a laptop sitting right in the middle of the room caught her attention.
Did he step out for a while?
Seeing how the laptop was left on, it didn’t seem like Yu Il-Shin would be away for long.
Yu Il-Shin Manuscript (Title Not Determined).hwp
However, there was only a blank Word document and an anxiously blinking cursor on the screen.
***
Thud!
Triumphantly, I placed the thick stack of manuscript on the table in front of my editor. He scrutinized the beautiful stack of papers, before clasping his hands and giving me a salute.
“You’re so amazing, Mr. Yu! Who would’ve thought that you’d complete it in such a short period of time! I know you can do it! I’ve always believed in you!”
“Hmph, this is nothing. I can do anything as long as I put my heart to it.” I shrugged nonchalantly.
“Hahaha! Are you always this funny?! You’re also fast with your work! This novel will definitely become a huge hit!”
“Hahaha, don’t mention it. Then shall we have Hanwoo[1] today?”
“Sure!”
Both of us laughed amicably as we enjoyed our dinner of Hanwoo.
“Here, Mr. Genius Writer. Please accept this glass of alcohol from me.”
Ugh! This is it! Heaven on earth!
Chewing on a piece of delicious Hanwoo while moistening my throat with a glass of soju was just blissful.
This was how life should taste like! But... huh? Did my alcohol tolerance drop? I only had a glass, but why did my cheeks feel hot?
Slap! Slap!
“Why isn’t he waking up? Is he dead already?”
“But he’s definitely still breathing, Hyung-nim.”
“Shit. How many days has it been? Was he on drugs?”
Angry voices echoed all around me as I opened my eyes.
The smell of sizzling, fragrant Hanwoo and sweet soju bottles before me transformed into a few muscular underlings and a scrawny guy.
Drip.
Tears rolled down my face. Ahh, did I dream of completing the manuscript?
“Oh! He woke up, Hyung-nim!”
“Haha! Finally! …Why’s the punk crying?”
“Keke, he must be shitting his pants.”
I looked around the shabby warehouse and then at myself. I was tied down to an office chair with a chain that emitted a strange black light. They went the extra mile just to tie up a poor, scanty writer. Or was this part of the dream?
I closed my eyes, hoping that I would quickly wake up from this nightmare and return to my studio. Then, I opened my eyes once more.
Slap!
“You punk! Don’t go back to sleep!”
The slap was so hard that it woke me back up.
“Gasp! W-who are you?”
“What? Who? Huh? He can’t remember who we are after humiliating us?” The weak hyena-looking guy growled.
My innate power activated on its own.
-----
[---]
A male human. Around for 31 years.
Special note: Uses puny flames.
-----
[---]
A male human. Around for 29 years.
Special note: Weak muscles.
-----
[---]
A male human. Around for 35 years.
Special note: Also has weak muscles.
-----
Huh? “Puny flames”? “Weak muscles”?
Chills went down my spine.
A-are they the same crooks from before?
I had met them at the trading shop before, when I went to sell Druid’s Ring. They had attempted to scam the store owner.
“Ha, did it jog your memory? It’s a pleasure to meet you again, Mr. Yu Il-Shin.” The flame guy snickered, piercing me with his sharp gaze.
What to do? I’m not glad to see you guys at all.
1. Like how Japan is famous for Wagyu, Korea is famous for Hanwoo. ☜
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