The footsteps grew closer, and I began to make out whispers. They sounded like women.

“Ms. Han, are we done with night shifts?”

The other woman sighed. “We probably can’t do night shifts anymore. We’ve run out of ‘their’ blood to smear on ourselves.”

“What happened to the people that were looking for ‘their’ dead bodies and food?”

“The search team? I mean, who would want to volunteer when half of the team doesn't make it back every time? We’re all going to die at this rate.”

Things weren’t going in their favor. I wondered how many hadn’t made it alive for her to say something like that.

I knew that it wasn’t easy for someone to risk their own life, but if they had people they wanted to protect, they would have no other choice.

I continued to eavesdrop as their voices grew more distant.

“Ms. Han, how many men are left?”

“I’d like to know that as well. News about the search team changes all the time, you know.”

Another sigh. “Things are becoming stranger by the day.”

“What can be done about it? It’s probably because everyone had different ideas about how to run things.”

The conversation about the remaining number of men had automatically moved to a discussion about the search team. That meant that the search team was only made up of men.

It seemed like this group of survivors had distributed their responsibilities rather well. In this hellish world, there was no doubt that physical strength was prized, and it was a given that men would have higher chances of survival than women. It seemed like the men went outside to forage while the women stayed behind to protect the school. However, I couldn’t help wondering what she meant when she said they had different ideas about how to run things. Their footsteps grew further and further away, leaving me with unanswered questions.

I took this opportunity to get beyond the barricade that was blocking the first-floor hallway and reach the classrooms with the flickering lights. Two of the classrooms had lit candles inside them. Most of the windows were broken, and the curtains were either torn up or full of dust.

I peered into the two classrooms and counted about thirty survivors. Half of them were elderly, and the rest ranged from children to adolescents in school uniforms.

Seeing this gave me a glimmer of hope. The survivors here were taking care of children and the elderly. It seemed that they hadn’t forsaken their humanity yet. Armed with this knowledge, I prepared to head back.

At that moment, I saw a flickering light at the end of the hallway.

‘Is that the principal’s office? Or the night-duty room?’

I headed toward it to figure out what it was. I assumed from the faint light emanating from the room that there was someone there, and I had to find out what they were up to.

As I got closer, I heard voices of several people inside.

“The female teachers will have to join the search team as well.”

“Did I say anything about that? I know what you’re saying is right. But what I want to know is, who’s going to be on guard duty if the women help the search team?”

“Isn’t that easy? We can ask the ones left here to do that.”

“Who? The children? Or the elderly? What do you think they’ll be capable of?”

“To make it through, everyone has to work together.”

Both sides had a valid point, but the principal and the mysterious woman continued to argue the matter.

‘Why, though?’

This didn’t seem like an issue worth getting all worked up for.

The woman said in an angry voice, “You’re all talk. What exactly have you done here?”

“What did you just say?”

“Aren’t you a man? Why aren’t you part of the search team? You’re always passing the buck to the younger men. Don’t act so clueless!”

“Passing the buck? Here now Ms. Park, you think I’m doing nothing?”

Their voices grew louder. I felt the resentment and anger they had toward each other. However, a common undercurrent ran beneath their voices.

Fear.

The fear of whatever was beyond the wall, the fear that they would run out of food, the fear of people dying, and the fear that there was no rescue team coming.

All these fears had taken over their emotions, when, in reality, they should have been working together to make it through.

After a pause, the woman’s voice came again, full of rage. “Yeah, what do you do here, anyway? I bet no one can tell. It’s funny, because you were the one who was against the female teachers joining the search team in the beginning. Now, though, you want us to step up after seeing the male teachers die? Who in their right mind would do so?”

“Then are you saying the women teachers won’t do anything because they have to perform guard duty?”

“I’m saying that your system was flawed from the start! Everyone has lost hope, especially since we’ve lost all connection to the outside world. You should be the one to be part of the search team. You have to be a part of it, to win back the trust of the others! That’s what all the male teachers have been saying!”

There was a long silence. The principal did not reply. All this eavesdropping had revealed something to me. It wasn’t just a lack of leadership. There was something more fundamental that hadn’t been resolved.

The blister had already popped, and the infection was getting worse. It already had turned into an incurable sepsis. The conversation was ping-ponging back and forth between idealism and reality. I wondered what had led them to this point.

After a few moments, the principal answered, his voice colored with agitation, “Have you considered what you would do if I were to die while being on the search team?”

“What?”

The woman did not immediately answer the principal’s question. The principal took a deep breath and demanded, “Who are you going to put up as the next leader?”

He tried to keep his cool, keeping his volume in check, grasping at what little sanity he had left in him.

“Kim, Mr. Kim will take your spot,” replied the woman, stuttering slightly.

The principal’s anger burst out from within him. “That bastard! That bastard only thinks about going outside! Everyone’s going to die if you go outside!”

‘Mr. Kim, huh.’

The conversation I’d overheard at the front gate had given me some idea of the reputation of Mr. Kim. He was the teacher who had confronted the principal. It seemed like these were the two opinions that were in conflict—whether to stay put or to take their chances outside. Since this woman was advocating for Mr. Kim, I assumed that the younger teachers were on Mr. Kim’s side.

The principal let out a roar of laughter. He was laughing at the top of his lungs, as though he had just heard the funniest joke in the world. Then, he said through gritted teeth, “Didn’t you say something about the survivors earlier? Now you’re just thinking of abandoning everyone. Isn’t that right?”

It was the woman’s turn to remain silent.

Bang!

The principal pounded his fist on the desk.

“Do you know why I’m not part of the search team? Is it because my life is too precious? No, no. My life isn’t worth anything, not after I left my son and wife behind when they were bitten by the monsters out there. But the children and elderly here, they’re all counting on me. How can I die when they’re all relying on me? If I die, won’t everyone just leave, including Mr. Kim? Am I wrong? I know you’re going to abandon everyone!”

His accusation was met with a deafening silence.

“You folks have no difficulty getting around! You folks are going to leave, without any consideration for whether those people die or not!”

“Why do we have to be responsible for them?” the woman retorted. “Do you even know how many teachers have lost their lives protecting them?” She met the principal’s rant with the thoughts that were consuming her own mind. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. “How long do you think we can protect these people? Huh? Like it or not, we’re all going to die at this rate!”

“That’s why I said we should let them take on guard duty!”

“We don’t want that! We just want to get away! How long do we have to sacrifice ourselves? We can’t even take care of ourselves in this damned world!”

“Ha! When you say ‘we’, you’re not including the children or the elderly, are you?”

The woman bawled her eyes out. The principal took a breath and did not continue the conversation.

There weren’t enough young, physically capable people in this place. It was like an aging society that did not have enough support to keep itself afloat. The system was collapsing, and it was only a matter of time before the remaining population of young and healthy individuals fled. It was a situation that had no solution. No, it was a situation to which the conclusion was painfully clear.

* * *

I leaned against the wall, listening to the sighing and crying across the wall. I wondered what would happen if our survivors came here. We had capable individuals who had the strength to accomplish things. Would they be forced to make sacrifices, or would they grab power and take over?

I didn’t know what to think. This was something outside my control. It wasn’t something I could solve. If our group of survivors came, there would be more than fifty people living in this compound. Would I be able to bring back enough food for all of them?

Would Lee Jeong-Uk’s group continue to take care of So-Yeon if I wasn’t able to bring back enough food? One question led to another, a never-ending stream. However, I eventually came to the most important question.

‘Do I ignore these survivors, or help them?’

Both sides had valid points. One faction was trying to get out, while the other faction wasn’t willing to leave. The fact that they were arguing showed that they were still sane, and still had some semblance of morals. However, like a glass floor slowly cracking under too much weight, they seemed to be slowly losing their ability to remain rational.

I couldn’t come to a conclusion. I had to discuss this matter with my group of survivors. I wasn’t sure if I could explain everything that was going on, but I was willing to try, regardless of how long it would take.

I got up and made my way out of the building. As I jumped over the wall, I noticed my underlings still hunched over next to the wall. After telling them to stand up, I made my way quickly back to my own shelter through the darkness.

My heart was heavy the entire way back. I could not stop thinking about what I had seen back at the school. I just couldn’t get over it. I knew I needed to discuss it my group and come to a decision.

* * *

I heard laughter through the front door as I reached my place of shelter. It wasn’t much, but I could feel the warmth in it. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door, knowing that I was the bearer of bad news. Lee Jeung-Uk approached me with a smile.

“Hey, Lee Hyun-Deok, we came up with this idea…”

He cut off abruptly as he saw my face. His smile slipped, and he asked me what was wrong.

As I stood there with mixed emotions, Lee Jeong-Uk brought me the drawing pad along with a few colored pens that had been laying around.

He was asking me to explain what had happened. I started writing slowly, letter by letter. He nodded as he followed my scribbles.

I wrote, on and on.

- Lots of elderly and children. Not many young people.

Lee Jeong-Uk slowly mouthed the words on the drawing pad.

“Is there a large discrepancy between the two groups?”

I nodded, growling.

“Alright. Keep going.”

I continued to write.