The survivors' faces contorted in a way that almost defied description. Bloodshot eyes with extremely pale skin—I was no longer human. The fact that I looked different, that I was above ‘them’ in the food chain, probably crossed their mind.

The woman and the man with the knife were struggling to close their mouths. They were clearly having a hard time comprehending what they were seeing. Their expressions and their actions betrayed their thoughts. Were they surprised? No. I could tell they were afraid.

The man with the shovel adjusted his grip, getting ready to attack me any second. However, no one dared to make the first move.

‘They’re probably running through several possibilities in their minds.’

They had no clue what would happen if they attacked a mutant that controlled other zombies. No fool would come at me without any information about my powers or the abilities I possessed.

I sighed and walked across the living room. All the survivors were trembling, ready to attack when the circumstances required it.

My footsteps were calmer than those of the creatures outside. I walked like a human being. The man with the knife and the woman exchanged looks with the man with the shovel. The man with the shovel—I remembered his face. He was the one who had been crying as he saw ‘them’ rush into apartment 101. His eyes were threatening, unlike the other two.

He probably despised and cursed those who had turned into creatures like me. I understood what he was feeling, since I wasn’t any different. I pushed aside the barricade blocking the bedroom door.

Knock, knock, knock.

After a moment, I heard footsteps, and So-Yeon stepped out. The survivors gasped as they saw her come out. She was also surprised to see them. She was scared to see these other survivors. The man with the shovel pointed at me.

“What the fuck are you?”

The survivors’ agitation increased tenfold. Was the zombie keeping the child captive? Or domesticating it? I could see even more fear reflected in their eyes.

After a moment, the man with the knife started talking.

“Hyung, I think the bedroom is where it stores its food.”

The knowledge that there might be food inside made the survivors temporarily forget their fear. However, their sentiments quickly turned to anger.

The man with the shovel gritted his teeth and spat, “You want us to go into your food storage? You son of a bitch.”

Without hesitation, he pointed his shovel toward me. I didn’t blame him. It was easy to assume the worst in such a situation. A zombie taking care of a person—it was an unbelievable scenario. I sensed that he was on the verge of striking me with his weapon.

“No!”

At that moment, So-Yeon screamed, holding onto my legs. The survivors flinched and stopped moving. They were dumbfounded by her reaction. I could feel her little hands trembling as they clutched at my thigh. “Don’t hit him, please…” she finally said, sobbing.

They all froze in unison. Even the man with the shovel was taken aback. He stared blankly at me and So-Yeon, unable to process what was going on. I kneeled down in front of her and started talking.

“Grr… Grr…”

She gave me a confused look. I patted her on the back and pushed her toward the survivors. She caught onto what I was trying to say, and ran back to me in tears. I hugged her while biting my lips.

‘I have to keep it in… I promised myself that I would never cry when the time came…’ 

My sobbing made its way through my broken teeth. My cry was threatening and even slightly abhorrent to the survivors. But So-Yeon knew. She knew the subtle difference in my cry. I hugged her tightly and tickled her wrist. She then cried even louder, shedding tears everywhere.

I patted her on her back and nudged her toward the woman in the back. The woman picked her up, somewhat halfheartedly, and So-Yeon resisted with all her might. The woman eventually couldn’t handle the struggle, and set her down.

Pat, pat, pat. 

So-Yeon ran toward me. Despite my horrendous appearance, she still came running to me. I couldn’t help but give her a hug. I soothed her as best as I could.

‘It’s alright, sweetie.’

The survivors had no clue how to handle this absurd, ridiculous situation. I looked at them without saying a word. I locked eyes with the woman in the back. Even though my appearance was monstrous, my eyes were full of sadness. The woman looked at So-Yeon, then back at me. Finally, she said, “I think that person… is the child’s father.”

“What?”

The face of the man with the shovel contorted after hearing what the woman had said. However, he could offer no explanation for the bizarre situation confronting them.

“I think what Da-Hye said is right. I think that person is different from the other ones.”

“What? Different? You fucking idiot. How could you say that, knowing the fate of your sister-in-law?”

The man with the shovel, who was now all worked up, glared at the younger man. The younger man remained silent, avoiding eye contact.

“Da-Hye, you can’t be saying things like that either. Have you ever seen them act rationally?”

“...My apologies.”

The woman was now caught up in the argument as well, but she continued to assert her original theory, instead of agreeing with the man.

“But…this is different compared to what we’ve been through today.”

“Different my ass!”

The man said with a huff, shaking his head violently.

As I watched them argue, I figured out that the man with the shovel was their leader. He had suffered a traumatic experience which cost him his sanity and left him with nothing but hatred toward ‘them’, and a desire for revenge. On the other hand, the younger one, along with his wife, had begun to accept reality.

They were keeping a distance from me, but they were thinking logically, and were obviously considering the possibility that the zombie creatures could have multiple characteristics. They weren’t neglecting alternative possibilities.

I understood their situation more than anyone. I decided to wait until they came to a consensus. It felt like the only way I could brush off the sense of guilt I felt when it came to them, regarding what had happened in the past.

The man with the shovel stared at me for a while, without saying a word. Eventually, he threw his shovel on the ground and spoke. “So, now what? What do you want to do?”

“How about we try talking to him?” the woman responded weakly.

The man immediately flew into a rage.

“What in the world are you saying? How the fuck are you going to communicate with him when all he does is growl?”

“But I’m sure he’s someone who thinks rationally. Just look at what he’s doing right now...”

The man pointed at me and scoffed, “What? A person? You think he’s a person?”

Of course, I wasn’t a person anymore. I was something else, something not-quite-human. There were many words like zombie, ghoul… but they didn’t seem to fit me perfectly.

As the man’s voice grew louder, the younger one spoke up, smiling sheepishly. “Could you keep it down? The window’s broken…”

“For fuck’s sake. So I’m the only one crazy here, huh?”

The man clicked his tongue and took a seat at the dining table. The situation was going south. The team was falling apart from the inside because of me and So-Yeon.

Silence filled the living room, only interrupted now and then by the chirping of insects or the howling of the wind. However, the damage had been done, and it would take more than silence to undo it. The man with the knife finally couldn’t bear it anymore, and broke the silence.

“So what do you want to do?”

The older man didn’t respond immediately.

“We know more than anyone the tragedy you’ve been through,” the younger man continued. “I know as well that you haven’t had anyone to talk about it with. We also know that you’ve been putting us first all this while.”

The man in the chair didn’t answer. Seeing his older brother sitting silently, his shoulders slumped, the younger man spoke again.

“Hyung, I’m sorry. We’ve been no help at all.”

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

“No, I know Da-Hye and I have been a burden to you.”

The younger brother’s expression grew melancholy, and he subtly dropped his honorifics. The older brother gave his brother a sidelong glance and let out a sigh, returning his gaze to the dining table. He seemed to have a lot on his mind, but was having trouble choosing the right words to express them. However, the younger one kept at it.

“But Da-Hye and I survived. It wasn’t the government or some God that saved us. No one was sane back then. But you were different.”

The older brother remained still as a rock.

“Hyung, you rescued me and Da-Hye.”

The older man sighed, covering his face with his hands, staring at nothing. I wondered what he was thinking. His soulless gaze was directed at the dining table. After a moment, he took a deep breath and started to speak.

“If I hadn’t gone to the pharmacy that day… Everyone would be here together.”

“There was nothing you could do about that. So-Jin had a burning fever.”

“She might’ve gotten better if we had just waited. We should’ve waited another day. Things might’ve been different then.”

“She had been running a fever for three whole days. I would’ve done the same.”

Silence descended again. The man at the dinner table bit his lip, but said nothing. After a few moments, he let out a deep sigh, and his head sagged.

‘Is he thinking about his dead wife? Or his baby?’

The man did not speak a word after that. He covered his mouth with his right hand, his face full of emotion. I could see that his hand was trembling. His eyes were tearing up. Without warning, they burst forth. The tears he had been holding in all this time were forcing their way out. His younger brother went to his side and patted his shoulders.

The world turning upside down all of a sudden had put a strain on their brotherly relationship, turning it into a barren, parched landscape, like land going through a drought. These tears were like blessed rain, watering the arid land and restoring their brotherhood.

“It’s not your fault.”

“No, it is. It’s all my fault. I was fucking stupid back then…”

“Why do you keep saying that? It’s not your fault.”

The younger one patted his brother on the back, sadness written all over his face.

The woman, who was witnessing this from the side, teared up as well.

I looked at them without saying a word, patting So-Yeon on the head.

After a while, the woman wiped away her tears and kneeled in front of me. She started talking to me. “Well then, you… Nevermind.”

Without finishing her thought, she turned to So-Yeon instead. “So sweetie, what’s your name?”