Chapter 8: The Future Starts to Change (2)
“...Me?”
“You performed exceptionally well during the audition and your ambition shone through. We believe you are an excellent fit for the main vocalist role.”
The employee sitting next to the team leader nodded in agreement, confirming their shared opinion.
“During the audition, you expressed a strong desire to be at the center, so we are considering you as the main vocalist. You know, as the main vocalist, you will often find yourself in the spotlight.”
I had indeed passionately expressed my desire to be at the center during my audition, almost to the point of screaming. While I did expect a change in my position, I had never imagined I would be the main vocalist.
The team leader laughed out loud as he saw my speechless reaction. “We are giving you this role because of your passion and abilities. You can hit high notes more impressive than expected. Why have you limited yourself to similar songs until now?”
“Ah, well…”
“If you were like this from the beginning, you would have debuted long ago.”
At that moment, Goh Yoo-Joon draped an arm around my shoulders, his face bright with excitement. "Nice! All your hard work finally paid off! Ah, I am a bit jealous. I wanted to be the main vocalist too!"
‘No, that role was originally yours.’
Guilt washed over me as I realized that I had unintentionally taken the main vocalist role from Goh Yoo-Joon, and his encouragement only intensified my feelings of guilt, as if I had deliberately snatched his spot.
“Yoo-Joon, don’t worry. Even though you are a sub-vocalist, you will have many parts. You will provide the foundation for our songs.”
“As long as I get many parts, I am happy.”
Goh Yoo-Joon seemed content as long as he got the chance to sing, and he joyfully patted my back. I responded with an awkward laugh and gently shrugged off his hand. Although I wanted this role, I couldn’t completely shake off the guilt.
"And then there is Yoon-Chan." The atmosphere shifted as the team leader transitioned to the next topic. When he mentioned Park Yoon-Chan’s name, the atmosphere in the room seemed to momentarily freeze. Moreover, the expressions of the team leader and the A&R team when looking at him were very different from their looks toward the rest of us.
"Yes..." Sensing this, Park Yoon-Chan appeared even more reserved. While the team leader’s demeanor might seem excessively stern, it was important to remember that we were still trainees. For someone like Park Yoon-Chan, who was struggling with both his appearance and skills, stringent feedback was essential for his growth and debut prospects.
"Yoon-Chan, you will be a sub-vocalist. Let's discuss more about your role after you lose some weight."
"...Yes, I understand."
Sadness was written all over Park Yoon-Chan’s face as he nodded, and I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of sympathy for him. Beneath the surface, Park Yoon-Chan was a hidden gem, his potential only obscured by his excess weight and shy nature.
"Do you remember that you promised to lose ten kilograms in a month during the audition? We will be monitoring your weight once a week, okay?"
"Yes, I am sorry."
The team leader and the judges could see Park Yoon-Chan's potential, which was why they placed him in the debut group. However, he indeed lacked the necessary passion and persistence to be an idol, as he seemed to already be on the verge of giving up.
Everyone in the room remained silent and just looked at Park Yoon-Chan. Sensing the tense atmosphere, the team leader tried to lighten the mood with a forced smile.
"Anyway, Yoon-Chan, you have so much potential. It'd be a waste if you didn't debut just because of your weight, right? Let's work hard."
"Yes, sir."
"Oh, right, though it is a bit early, we need to start building a fan base before our debut. We have sent out your profiles to broadcasters."
"...Oh."
The incident that had previously put me out of the spotlight was about to come. Despite my attempts to appear nonchalant, I couldn't suppress the slight tremor in my body.
"One of the producers I know wants to include you guys in their upcoming show."
"Us?"
"UNET is organizing another survival show for new groups that are about to debut."
UNET stood at the pinnacle of music broadcasting in South Korea and had a history of producing survival shows with various concepts, including rap and dance battles, featuring even entertainers who had debuted. Now, it seemed that they had turned their attention to new debut groups.
"Haven't there already been trainee survival shows?" asked Joo-Han.
"Yes, but this one is more like an agency survival show."
The team leader handed us a document from the broadcasting company.
"Each agency will send a new group that is preparing to debut, and it is an excellent opportunity to showcase your group dynamics, build a fan base, and so on."
I remembered that back then, everyone had been busy preparing for this very show. Tragically, the accident, which happened on the first day of filming, had led to all of my scenes being cut.
"Is the show starting soon?" Joo-Han asked.
"Don't worry. The main filming starts in a month."
"But what should we do?"
While the other members were stunned by the sudden announcement, Joo-Han was quick to grasp the situation and started strategizing with the team leader.
"For the time being, keep up the hard work in your practice, and lend Yoon-Chan a hand with his diet. They'll be filming the audition scene in three weeks."
"Audition? There's an audition for this show as well?"
“Yes, the format is somewhat like an audition, with groups being selected to participate. While the final cast is predetermined, this will be your first chance to make an impression on the public. Joo-Han, I’m counting on you to lead and prepare everyone.”
An employee from the planning department chimed in, offering their assistance. “If you need anything specific for the audition, please don't hesitate to let us know.”
"Another audition right after we've just been through one, huh? Ugh..." Goh Yoo-Joon slumped in his seat, clearly exhausted. He had been through many auditions during his trainee days, and now, with the added pressure of being in the debut group, the idea of doing a survival show sounded overwhelming to him.
"How is the vibe of the audition?" asked Joo-Han.
The team leader rifled through some papers as he responded to Joo-Han's question. “There is no specific vibe, but you can expect everyone to be on their A-game. After all, this is everyone’s first performance in front of the public, so they will be aiming to make a strong impression.”
"Will there be a special stage setup, or will it be more like our end-of-the-month evaluations?"
"It will be similar to our monthly evaluations. There's no separate stage setup for this."
Joo-Han handled the news with remarkable composure, showcasing the traits of a true leader, especially considering the suddenness of the situation.
As my curiosity was piqued, I skimmed through the documents provided by UNET, wondering how the other members had fared back then. After all, I had never watched the show, still haunted by the accident and my departure from the debut group. I did know the winning prize was a reality show slot, but since I had never heard of our group participating in that reality show, I assumed that they hadn't won.
"Regardless, your focus should be on figuring out how to best appeal to the public." The team leader seemed excited as he concluded the meeting, seemingly oblivious to the members' mixed expressions of anticipation and anxiety.
The car ride back to the house was filled with discussion about the upcoming survival show.
"Man, things really are different when you are in the debut group. We already got a television appearance lined up."
Lee Jin-Sung's comment was met with a proud smile from the manager. "You guys are lucky. Back in Allure’s day, the only way to appeal pre-debut was through showcases. In that sense, this is really great. You've got a great opportunity."
"I hope we can win since we’ve got the chance to be on the show."
The other members were chattering excitedly, but a heavy atmosphere hung in the air around the seat next to me. When I turned to look, I saw Park Yoon-Chan, who had been on the receiving end of the team leader's stern words earlier, staring blankly at the window.
"Hey, Yoon-Chan..."
When I gently touched his shoulder, Park Yoon-Chan looked up and smiled awkwardly.
"I might get cut by the agency if I don't strictly stick to the diet, right?”
"Well... come on, they wouldn't do that, would they?" I tried to reassure him although I was aware that the entertainment industry could be ruthless. They might even threaten to terminate his contract, but I believed in Park Yoon-Chan's determination and ability to overcome this hurdle and eventually debut.
Noticing his fidgeting fingers, I sighed and gave his back a comforting pat. "It's alright. We all have to watch our weights anyway."
"Thanks, hyung. It just feels like I am lagging behind the other members... It is a bit disheartening."
"Lagging behind?" I knew that my words might not be enough to fully comfort Park Yoon-Chan. The feeling of lagging behind and the indescribable despair that came with it was something I understood far too well, particularly as the skill gap between me and my peers continued to widen.
Suddenly, our leader Joo-Han spoke up, silencing the noisy members. "Listen up, everyone. Starting today, all members are going on a diet. This is our first broadcast, and we need to look our best."
He had to have overheard my conversation with Park Yoon-Chan.
"I can't really control my diet, so I will just work out more," Lee Jin-Sung declared, prompting Goh Yoo-Joon to click his tongue in response.
"I'm going to throw away all of Jin-Sung's carb-heavy food at the dorm," said Goh Yoo-Joon.
"Wow, that's extreme."
It wasn't just Joo-Han. The other members also seemed to naturally commit to the diet after overhearing our conversation.
"Thank you so much." Park Yoon-Chan expressed his gratitude, which made Goh Yoo-Joon squirm in discomfort.
"Please stop saying thank you! Seriously! It's too cringy."
"But I really am grateful..."
Unable to hold it any longer, everyone burst into laughter, our joyful outburst filling the small car.
***
The next morning, I was woken up by the sound of music coming from the living room. I frowned at the low-quality beat and got out of the bed. As I stepped out of the room, I saw Joo-Han sitting on the couch, looking at something on his phone.
Still groggy from sleep, I mumbled, “Hyung, what are you doing so early in the morning...?"
"Ah, you are awake?" Joo-Han glanced at me and then went back to look at his phone.
"Are the other members still asleep?"
"No, Yoon-Chan and Jin-Sung already went to school."
"...Oh, school. Right." I was momentarily taken aback, having forgotten that some of us were still juggling school and trainee life. Goh Yoo-Joon and I had shifted our focus to our trainee activities after taking high school equivalency certificates, while Park Yoon-Chan and Lee Jin-Sung were still attending school.
I sat next to Joo-Han and looked at his screen. "What is this? Videos of Allure seniors?"
"Yeah, I am thinking about which song to choose for the audition," Joo-Han sighed. It was clear that he felt the weight of responsibility as the leader, especially since this was our first group activity, and he had to plan everything from scratch.
"Considering that we're under YMM Entertainment, I thought it might be a good idea to choose a song from our seniors. Hyun-Woo, do you have any suggestions?"
"Me?" I was surprised, not expecting him to seek my input.
"You seem to have a good sense for song selection. I thought you might have some ideas."
‘A good idea, huh…’ I hesitated, unsure of how my suggestion would be received.
"I do have an idea," I admitted cautiously.
"Great, let’s hear it. Anything will help."
"Uh, well..." I faltered, acutely aware of the potential backlash.
"Why are you hesitating? Just speak up. If it's not a great idea, we can just take it as a reference."
I knew I risked a metaphorical kick in the back if my idea fell flat, but after gathering my courage, I decided to speak up.
"Hyung, please hear me out without getting angry. Try to understand both my point of view and the reason behind my suggestion."
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