Going with the flow, getting pushed if pushed; I had lived my whole life as a main character of a monochromatic life drama.

I was born with around average weight, received compulsory education, and took the CSAT exams. I then went to a university to contribute to the 80% college enrollment rate statistic.

My major was biology. I didn’t have any interest in biology or even science for that matter, but I aimed for that department because my scores allowed me to and I managed to pass. After I enrolled, I heard a rumor that the university was lacking so many students that someone who was number 20 on the waiting list managed to pass.

I didn’t know whether that was true or not, but I did think that it was plausible. The university campus was old, the funding was precarious, and departments were being abolished or combined with others. Perhaps the wise decision would be to run away.

I played around a lot in my freshman year, following advice that I had heard many times before. When I felt guilty about playing around, I shook off my guilt with the peculiar logic that ‘it’s okay because I’m the one getting into debt to go to college.’

That didn’t mean, however, that I was playing around ‘like crazy’ to the point I was in the mouths of many students on campus. I just played around moderately as a gray particle, neither black nor...